Hi, I’m Tony
I have been involved with spirituality for over 30 years. Through suffering and inquiry, I had an awakening at an early age that shattered the mirror of my normal life and revealed an extraordinary presence. Life after that was never the same, and I dealt with many trials and misperceptions in trying to make sense of what was revealed here. I have been meditating since 2016 and have learned several methodologies and somatic practices that have helped me navigate the process of shedding identities, the energetics involved, and seeing through beliefs about myself and this life. I have had two wonderful long-term mentors who have helped me tremendously. My first mentor's name won’t be mentioned out of respect for his privacy; however, my next one was Angelo DiLullo. Working directly with Angelo for the last few years really honed my experience and helped me break through barriers, fixations, and beliefs, which are still unraveling to this day—and will probably continue to do so.
I have learned over the last several years that this existence has infinite depth and mystery. I used to have a desperate need to solve this mystery, and that need caused a lot of seeking and suffering. As I dismantled more and more false identities and beliefs about myself and the world, I discovered a whole new way of living and being. A long time ago, I had ideas about what enlightenment was and what it would give the so-called person—that it would make him special in some way and solve all his problems. As I matured spiritually, I came to realize the magic and mystery of the ordinary. Instead of wanting to be special, I now understand that I want to be useful.
At the end of the day, this path and its realizations are endlessly humbling. There is a tremendous paradox the deeper this process goes, as you realize there was never a path to begin with, yet, looking back, it appears as if there was one. I called my site Existence Redux because, as conditioned, assumptive beliefs and identities are dismantled, existence itself seems to be continually refreshing. An eternal mystery and awe are revealed that had always been there but had been covered up by what we assumed we already knew about this existence. This concept of "Existence Redux" is powerful—capturing the essence of spiritual awakening as a continual unfolding, where each layer of illusion is stripped away, revealing the deeper mystery of life. It is a process of renewal, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary, and the mystery of existence deepens with every step. I claim nothing except a desire to use my experiences of suffering, seeing through them, and my journey on the pathless path to help others do the same. Being "special" holds no meaning to me anymore, but I do think being "useful" sounds pretty good.
If you’re interested in my help, feel free to contact me.
